I should be used to this by now,
with 27 under my belt this should be easy
but its not…
no matter how many times I will go through surgery
It will NEVER be easy,
watching,
waiting
for my time to go into the O.R.
As I drift off into sleep
I remember that I am, and need to be strong
My body surges as his cold, stale hands touch my IV,
Then I’m gone…into sleep

Drip….Drip…. I awaken, to the sound of my bag of fluids,
that is keeping me hydrated.
I am in the recovery room.
I look at the clock
and what feels like I have been gone for 5 minutes
has really been 3 hours.
My mother and father are seated in chairs
on the other side of the room
They have not noticed that I have awaken from the anesthesia
A pain.
spirals from my head all the way down to my hand
it makes me jump
like a ton bricks have fallen from the ceiling
and crashed on my head
so I try to fall back asleep,
only to be awaken by a nurse who is changing my dressings.
Now this time I am awake
there is no going back…
I am up for good.