This may sound negative, but life really sucks. Well, it sucks a lot out of you. I know this may sound repetitive, and unoriginal, but my life is extremely hectic. Taking four APs plus journalism, which feels like an AP, plus swimming (not yet), plus planning for college, plus preparing for ACTs/SATs, plus spending time with my family, plus chores, plus the everyday, classic teenage problems, I barely have time to breathe, nonetheless sleep and eat and socialize.

 I really don’t know how I’m going to make it the 162 days left of school. On the still negative side, my mind is also being torn into a thousand pieces, not the most recommended feeling. I have recently acquired a constant headache, not fun. Along with this strange twitch that most people would not want to admit, moreover admit on the all accessible internet. I’ve learned that I am unwilling to admit much about myself, maybe this will help.

 It’s funny, but it seems that at 17 I am still learning things about myself.

I guess I should have learned this earlier, but I am way too willing to please people, even people I hate! Now my family may disagree with this fact, but I truly feel I behave this way. This is something I am trying to work on. I will literally, in my hard-to-come-by-free moments, arrange a possible plan for the next moment I have to “do my own thing.” But, to my great disappointment, I am extremely incapable of this. It somehow ends up making me feel guilty just thinking about it, what is that crap?!?! I go as far as hyping myself- “Come on Klaudia, you can do this. Eye of the tiger. Don’t stop believing.” And yes, I am a huge dork who uses cheesy lyrics to get a buildup.

My favorite pump up song is “Defying Gravity,” those words are the absolute best! Every single, solitary line makes me want to jump up and cheer. I will literally whip out my IPod and take in the breathtaking wonder that is Idina Menzel singing. As I walk to what I know to be my challenge, I will repeat, over and over, defy. That is my new mantra- defy. Defy, defy, defy, defy, defy, defy, defy, defy.  I wouldn’t be surprised if I started saying it, or even better singing it, in my sleep. Defy, as defined, is to challenge the power of; resist boldly or openly; to challenge or do something deemed impossible. That is a dream of mine; I want to do the impossible. I want to be the girl that everyone says couldn’t do it, but somehow does. Not somehow, but through hard work and determination. By defying, dare I say it, gravity. That is how I am going to get through these last 162 days of school because I refuse to be denied my chance of defying gravity because, as Elphaba, a green witch that no one believed in, once sang, “It’s time to try defying gravity. I think I’ll try defying gravity, and you can’t pull me down!”