Listening is to give one’s attention to sound. Listening involves complex affective, cognitive, and behavioral processes.Genuine listening has become a unique gift. The gift of time. No one is willing to make the time to listen to others anymore. It helps frame relationships, solve problems, insure understanding, resolve conflicts, and improve accuracy. According to www.forbes.com the following are the essentials for good and active listening.

• Face the speaker and maintain eye contact.

Staying focused on who you’re speaking to leads to better understanding and shows respect. It can be distracting if someone is gazing around while you are speaking to them.

• Be attentive, but relaxed.

Seeming stressed and on edge can make the other person uneasy. It’s better to just go with the flow and let everyone take a breath and calm down.  Conflicts are better resolved in a calm manner rather than yelling.

• Keep an open mind.

Not being responsive to new ways of thinking and seeming closed off make having a conversation challenging. Be accepting of whatever is said and even if you don’t agree understand their point of view.

• Listen to the words and try to picture what the speaker is saying.

Invisoning what the other person is saying can make understanding easier. Create a mental picture and see the situation in your mind to be able to reach a whole new level of understanding.

• Don’t interrupt and don’t impose your “solutions.”

Sometimes just hearing someone is more effective then trying to fix their problems. Not everyone needs their problems fixed but rather to know they’re being heard.

• Wait for the speaker to pause to ask clarifying questions.

Interjecting into someone’s thoughts to ask a question can throw the other person off topic. It’s always been known that it’s rude to interrupt but it’s also very distracting to keep a train of thought.

• Ask questions only to ensure understanding.

Don’t try to figure out more then they’re telling you, it will only confuse you more. You need to just the info as it comes at you, not try to draw your own conclusions.

• Try to feel what the speaker is feeling.

Empathy is big in the understanding process. Walk in the other person’s shoes and feel what they feel.

• Give the speaker regular feedback.

Saying okay ands letting them know you’re following what they’re saying helps the speaker. You shouldn’t just sit there quiet or they’re going to assume you don’t understand.